When the person you could have been meets the person you’re becoming, is it going to be a cause for celebration or heartbreak?

That quote hit me like a ton of bricks.

It was on the wrapper of a chocolate bar included with Seth Godin’s book, This is Strategy.

The chocolate was delicious. The quote was sobering.

Why did it shake me?

I know I’m not the person I could be.

You see, this is my 20th year at SCC. How did two whole decades pass without me noticing? What have I even accomplished? Have I been Rip Van Winkling my way through my career?

I’ve actually lost sleep asking myself these questions (and sometimes still do).

By all accounts, I’ve had a successful tenure: I’ve elevated my marketing function at my institution from quirky ad guy to trusted marketing strategist. My work and the work of my team has been recognized by peers from across the country for excellence. I have earned the trust and respect from colleagues in my institution and in my industry. I even served as national president of my profession’s trade organization (what’s up NCMPR?!).

Not only that, together with my wife and partner in life for 25 years, Dawn, I’ve successfully raised three humans to become productive, happy, healthy adults.

I realize I’m cosmically fortunate to be in a position to even write this piece. That’s what makes it strange to hold both truths at once. I’m grateful for the career and life I’ve built, yet I still feel like I have so much more to learn and do.

Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

Pursue yourself

“If you don’t know what to pursue in life, pursue yourself.”

Just before my milestone work anniversary, I tripped across that line. So that’s what I’ve done. I’ve read books and dug into whitepapers and reports. I set SMART goals for myself, I reflected on my bad habits and have committed to changing them at work and at home.

And you know what? It’s working. I’m more productive. I’m more motivated. I’m seeking out opportunities. I’m making connections with successful people in my industry who I never dreamed would accept my call, let alone have a personal Zoom for over an hour and even exchange phone numbers. I’m rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

Doors are opening because I simply made the conscious decision to reach out and turn the handle.

Momentum

Now I’ve written a slew of industry thought pieces and how-to articles about common pains all marketers and leaders have. I’ve gone down more rabbit holes than I can count looking for answers and ideas using AI. I’ve developed my own tools to make those journeys faster and more productive. I’m presenting at more conferences about stuff people are excited to learn about. I launched my own website and have begun actively engaging with people who want to learn from my experience.

Something is happening. I can feel it. It’s an exhilaration that can only be described as equal parts curiosity, joy, and terror. And I love it.

Bravery

“Be brave enough to suck at something new.”

I have that quote conspicuously posted on the wall next to our team meeting table for everyone to see.

What would happen if you chose to be brave enough to pursue yourself, starting today? To scratch that deep itch that says you have more inside of you. To walk through a new door not knowing what’s on the other side?

Even the tiniest actions add up over time. Before you know it, you will be amazed by what you accomplished. I was.

The reckoning

But you have to start. Once you do, you’ll begin to see opportunities. Then you can shift your habits and sustain the transformation.

The wrapper has been in my direct line of sight ever since the day I first read it. It’s a simple, silent reminder that I cannot avoid, making it the most effective chocolate bar wrapper in the history of wrappers.

And you know what? It’s working.

I’m not quite ready to reckon with the person I could have been. But that inevitable meeting is getting a little less awkward every day.